Again, I'm purging for our move. This time I'm finding tiny notes I've scribbled on papers I've saved for years. Literally, I think I've brought this "St. Jude Memphis Marathon" sheet of paper with a weekly job chart that is no longer practical (i.e. one day I'm supposed to dust the entire house), from St. Louis to CT to NC. I think the reason I saved it? was because of a Jillian quote at the bottom. We had just returned from a few months away, I believe for Kevin's away rotations. Upon arriving home Jillian exclaimed "I LOVE MINE HOUSE! I LOVE OUR HOUSE!" So sweet that she was so happy to return to our tiny apartment that smelled of smoke, where we couldn't open the windows because they were painted shut but somehow when there was a strong breeze outside in the winter all the inside doors would slam shut. Ah, SO don't miss that place. But the memories of it are sure sweet, as are the thoughts of tiny Jillian and Peter enjoying their life there.

Anniversary

As our 8th anniversary approaches, and as we prepare to move to the fourth state we'll have lived in since we became a family, I thought I'd post some advice we received before we were married. I have it in a notebook that we won't be taking with us, so I thought I'd make a digital copy. It's fun to look back at what people said and ponder on if we've taken the advice, if it's been good advice for us personally, etc.

He will be studying a lot so be very patient because it will pay off in the long run. Try to be creative and find ways you can be together and let him study. -Gaye Wheatley
(probably should have been more patient!)

Read together! Lots of good books, old and new, but mostly old! Pray and study and you can get over just about anything. -Robyn Axelgard
(still waiting for the reading together to be more regular, hopefully when he's done July 2014 we'll have more time for leisurely reading together!)

The best advice I recall is to do your house chores together with lots of music and dance in the kitchen.
-Lenora Weatherford
(True! I love doing jobs and accomplishing tasks that benefit our household together with Kevin. He is my get it done guy!)

Take at least one weekend a year and go away somewhere- it will remind you why you fell in love in the first place and will form some of your greatest memories! -Karen Stevens
(again, after residency! although we have had a few occasions to just be alone for a few days and it is fantastic!)

Medical school WILL end someday...and you will look back and cherish the moments you shared as a struggling newlywed couple. Love each other and say 'I love you" every day- even if it's been a rough day. Be loyal to each other! Best wishes for a wonderful life together. -Camille Gledhill
(all true!)

Laugh! -Victoria Carlson
(of course!)

Everyday is a new beginning. Never give up on your challenges. Keep your sense of humor and laugh at mistakes. Give lots of compliments. -Joyce Miller
(I'm so grateful for the compliments Kevin gives me readily!)

Don't assume anything. Always hold hands when having heated discussions. Always express your love and appreciation daily and during prayer. -Sylvia Westergard
(When we first got married, Kevin would say a lot "If I said something that hurt your feelings, assume I didn't mean it like that." We've come a long way since then:)

Early and consistent training of a husband (as with a dog or children) is essential. For specifics, watch the classic movie with Doris Day. -Jan Signore
(perhaps the most memorable, has also proved correct! mostly with respect to helping your husband learn to help take care of the children. He IS capable, and even excellent at it. So grateful I was finishing school when Jillian was born. Kevin learned how to take care of her on his own and feel competent doing it.)

Laugh a lot! Have fun and build good memories! -Sandy Banks
(any advice from Sandy would be good but it makes me smile thinking of her and President Banks having fun and laughing.)

Give him endless praise for any home improvement tasks. This is a skill you'll want to nurture. -Karen Inouye
(So true! I need to work on not nitpicking when Kevin does something for me.)

Go to bed when he goes to bed! -unknown
(great advice that I need to work on!)

The best thing for our marriage was to move far away from both of our families. This may not please your mom much, but you will grow closer as a couple and enjoy your time together without all the family around all the time. Then after a few years of growth and happiness, plan to move closer to family and enjoy! P.S. Don't let your mom read this! -Ann Barker
(So true! So grateful for our St. Louis and CT time to gain our footing as a pair.)

Things make more sense in the morning. It's okay to sleep on it! -Sara Olsen
(Also true, but I still always want to hash it out and can't sleep while Kevin can fall asleep immediately after an argument. ?)

Bribe him with kisses and don't let pride get in the way of the relationship. -Maury Riggan
(Said like an expert when she was only a teenager:)

Always tell Kevin how much you love him as often as you can. -Janie Chamberlain
(This makes a world of difference when he goes out of his way to text or call and tell me this.)

Instead of NOT doing something for your spouse because they didn't do something for you, ALWAYS be striving to outdo the other in kind acts. That way you're always indebted to each other and trying to repay each other with kindness. -Gayle and Ralph, excellent examples of this!

Avoid all criticism of any form. If you have any critiques don't bring them up in public and don't make jokes about them. -Emily
(We're working on this! It is very hurtful to bring up shortcomings in front of others.)

Treat every day like you're still courtin'! Love notes, 25 cent machine things in lunches, etc. Bury the green meany (get rid of jealousy and trust each other! -Brother Bob from my mission
(love how I can hear him saying this. Jealousy was hard at first, even over the silliest things, but I feel like we understand where the other person is coming from much better and it leaves less room for misunderstanding.)

Only have a garden is it's a joint effort. -Gayle

Don't hold grudges and work on immediate problems.-Ralph

Give your wife an allowance and they'll spend it all and want more. Give her charge of the budget and she'll make money for it. -Ralph (still working on this!)

Looking forward to another eight years of learning together!

I AM SPECIAL

Jill had to complete some sentences and, of course, I thought her answers were worth making into memorabilia.

My name is: Jillian Rose G.
The color of my hair is: blond.
My eyes are: brown.
I am 48 inches tall.
I have five people in my family.
My favorite food is:spaghetti.
I can draw the best!
My favorite book is: Fancy Nancy.
I live in a: house.
I love: home.
I know I am special because: I have a brother and a sister.

Jill wrote the cutest note, I'm not sure to who, that I wanted to record. It says "What's the baby?" on the front. Inside she wrote "A girl! When I got home there was a note that read: What is the Baby? Folo the gummy bears to find out. I foloed the gummy bears! I saw a present. It was a girl!" Then below she drew what she saw "A pink & white wense" and "gummys."


She sure loves to record what's going on in life:)

My fridge is cracking me up right now and since it's time to de-clutter it, I thought I'd record why. Peter has several works of art he is proudly displaying.

One is a "rich person" he drew. He titled it and when I asked him what a rich person looked like/who he knew that was rich/where he got the idea to draw such a person, he said "We are, Mom! We found Black Beard's treasure! Duh!" On Kevin's birthday, Kevin planted a treasure out back for the kids to discover, complete with "X marks the spot." This made me crack up when he first said it since we are feeling the pinch after eight years of schooling and yet another expensive move in our near future, pending costs for Kevin's licensure ($1000s of dollars just to get it), etc. But, of course, as time has passed and I've seen it day after day, I've seen the positive attitude of a child who needs so much less to be happy than adults sometimes think we need.

Another piece is a picture he brought home from school with two figures, grass, sunshine, etc. I laughed aloud when I saw this one too. The two drawings are titled "My sister Jillian" and "A mole rat." We love the Mo Willems book "The Naked Mole Rat Gets Dressed." If you haven't read it, it will expand your horizons and make you think:)

Lastly, there is a paper with lines that he put up. He wanted it there to record when we do kind deeds for each other. I can't remember but he's listed something up top, along with everyone's name in the family.

That boy is always thinking.