We're making it...

Warning: Novel to Follow

We've been here a week and I think we're gonna make it:) It's always so strange to move from one place to another. And in this case from one phase of our lives to another. So many contradicting emotions! Excitement for the change. Definitely that, but so much else! Longing for the chapter of your life you're closing. Groping for ALL the wonderful friends and memories it is time to leave behind. Exhaustion from the packing, cleaning, driving, trouble-shooting, putting on a happy face for the kids, frustration with yourself when you are grouchy with the kids and realize you've forgotten they're dealing with everything too! I don't think we've stopping RUNNING since about two weeks before graduation.

After getting home from Europe and Virginia, LOTS of pictures STILL to come, we began packing and repacking every fun thing (Gardens, Zoo, Tower Grove Park, Forest Park, friends)in St. Louis into our week. Then came our families to help us celebrate and pack, then graduation, then packing, then saying goodbyes, then packing the truck oh so tightly to squeeze everything in, then realizing we still couldn't fit in everything and getting a trailer, then driving our small caravan for two days and finally getting to our new home. We are so grateful to everybody that has helped us on both ends to pack and unpack the truck and, of course, for the other countless thoughtful kindnesses.

Maybe it's all the driving or perhaps the emotions that come with exhaustion but I've been waxing philosophical about our four years of medical school. When we moved to St. Louis, we had been married about three weeks. I remember absolutely bawling to Kevin one night. We had no friends there, which of course we did, we were miles from any place either of us had ever known as home, I missed BYU and my nursing girls, and we had no hope of leaving for four years! Now the time has whizzed by and I know that Heavenly Father put us where He did with such purpose! I couldn't have picked a better place, and probably wouldn't have because at the time it seemed so random, for us to start out. Such a great place to grow our marriage and learn about each other and become parents. Sitting in church last week I realized how unique and wonderful our situation in the Lindell Ward was. So many friends for J and for us! I honestly don't think I could have made it through some of those long, cold and somewhat dark winter afternoons when Kevin was gone studying or at the hospital without my sweet St. Louis friends. Sometimes just the thought that a friend was probably going through the same thing, helped significantly. I can review each of my friends from the past four years and think of specific, and life-altering, lessons they taught me just by being the sweet women they are. Service, optimism, non-judgementalism (a real word?), charity, frugality, thoughtfulness, unselfishness, the gift of applying a sense of humor at the right time, mental toughness, physical toughness, the value and art of homemaking, how to teach and nurture J and P, how to be a kinder wife, how to be a better communicater, being informed and involved in the community. Lots of these qualities are, of course, things I have seen in others, in my Mom, my sisters, my friends, along the way and will constantly be learning my entire life but I am already cherishing "my medical school friends" who helped me realize the value of them again.

I also learned a lot about what and who I want to be. I guess somewhere in my heart of hearts I always wanted to be a mother and stay at home with my children. It just took me a while to get to that conclusion. Like, oh, the first five seconds I held Jillian! It was probably actually before that when people would ask where I wanted to work after my graduation from nursing school. Some people I would just give a vague answer but then some I would say "Actually, I am going to stay at home with our baby." Yea! for SLU being a Catholic institution because that was most often greeted with "Oh, good for you." "Lucky Baby." Etc. But seeing so many wonderful moms around me in my friends encouraged me and helped me to know that, yes, oftentimes motherhood is often frustrating and even unrewarding in an immediate, receive an accolade sense but THAT'S OKAY! Pursuing my career as a nurse or "getting out of the house," without my baby that is, wasn't going to change that. In fact, it might just frustrate me more and make me feel stretched in an attempt to achieve something much less important than nurturing my child. I realized, as I watched and listened to my friends that THEY ARE SMART WOMEN! who could do anything they put their minds to, and quite frankly they have, hello directing plays, organizing races and sewing incredible works of art!

I don't know where to go from there except to say that if residency is half as full of rich and wonderful experiences we'll be blessed. And maybe I'll even find some more running partners along the way- although I'm not crossing my fingers because I realize the "Mommas in Training" are pretty unique:)

I'd better get to bed but just need to record some of sweet Jillian's responses to the move.

• "Mom, did we bring my... or did we leave it in St. Louis?" That was the only home this sweet girl has known and I think she's just reaching for familiarity. Tonight she was getting SUPER upset if she was looking for something in the new house and couldn't find it.
• I think she's really missing her friends. She made up an imaginary friend named Maressa as a substitute. She goes everywhere with us and Jill is constantly explaining things to her.
• We went to a ward activity tonight and she was thrilled to meet some new friends. Not so thrilled that there weren't any girls there her age. She kept asking "But where are the GIRLS?" We kept telling her the boys are like Asher and Ashton and Ryan and Elliot and Jimmy in St. Louis and she can be friends with them too! I'm sure she'll warm up to them. For today, she took to a 7 year old girl who was very sweet to her.

People here has been very sweet to us already and we're sure we're gonna love it here! Just missing our last home a little bit. Two of the times I've been closest to crying, other than when we were driving away, have had to do with the Gardens. I bought a lemon sink- stopper-upper-thing there and I was thinking how if I told someone here where I had gotten it they wouldn't know what I was talking about. All those countless walks there with my newborns, and then toddlers, and friends on Wednesdays!

I realized I didn't mention Kevin much in this post about the last four years:) I guess because he's here with me and luckily I don't have to go for too long without him, until intern year starts, I suppose:)!

Big Bubbly Beautiful Birthday Boy!

Peter's personality has been EXPLODING lately. He was such a serious little guy until about a month ago. You had to really work hard to pull a smile from him. It wasn't that he was unpleasant or grumpy, just contemplative. I don't know what happened but it's like someone put some quarters in him. A LOT of quarters. He laughs and "talks" all day long now. He'll get into something, the other day it was doing a fishy face and making lip smacking noises with Grandma, and be slap happy for a good 20 minutes. He is more adventurous and will leave my side more often but still looks back for reassurance, which is sweet. I'm not sure if he does it for my sake or his. He's also gotten a ton more snuggly and loves to give kisses, aka slobbering all over your face.

We had a pretty tame birthday celebration (I spent much of the day trying to set up appointments to see apartments the next day) but we did have fun going to the park and making (and eating) his cake.

LOVE that little crinkled nose!

Peter LOVES this toy from Grandma Kim and Pops

Every parent's nightmare. He burnt himself on the birthday candle. Luckily I think it startled him more than anything and there was no blistering.

Peter's antithesis! She hates to be dirty!

"I don't feel so good." We took it away shortly after this.

I can do hard things

This was our family motto for this year. When we adopted this theme it was more a statement of encouragement and in the spirit of nurturing an attitude of fortitude and hardiness, instead of...oh, say, wimpiness and crumbling under pressure. Whether it be social pressure, pressure for Kevin at work, small every day pressures that could lend itself to feeling depressed, you get the idea. Looking back though, I think we did accomplish some big things. Kevin was apart from us for two months while he did away rotations at UVA and MUSC. We learned a lot about our family during that time! Kevin went through the whole interview process and that was strenuous too but, again, he learned a lot in a short amount of time. Jillian was no exception! She overcame the feat of potty training like a champ! We're so proud of her. We never thought so much of our conversation would revolve around bodily functions but we're proud of her. Go Jill!  

  

Clearly...

The last time we took a picture on this bench at the Butterfly garden we hadn't met Peter yet. I think he was born about 3 months later. 

...I can't get enough of taking pictures of Peter on swings. He's gotten very adventurous when he plays and is such an explorer! He NEVER stops moving all day long. Recently I fell asleep with him in my bed at night, a first since he has been such a squirmy baby, and he literally rolled and readjusted his position every five minutes. He doesn't even stop in his sleep! 

J and A were cracking me up one day at the park. SO EXPRESSIVE! They were half jibber-jabbing and half talking in words that were recognizable to us. 

Half-marathoners!

Without further ado...I'm catching up the blog and then I'll post some pictures from Europa. 

I'm finally ready to blog about the race some (wonderful) friends and I did at the beginning of April. I was a little disappointed with my time, which is a big deal for me because, as some of you may know, I don't have a competitive streak in my body. Not even against myself. I hadn't really set any concrete goals as far as finishing times go before this race. I've always liked to be active but this race was different because I really pushed myself hard in training and it felt so great to reach the physical goals I set for myself. A friend set up a blog for us to record what we were doing in our individual workouts, if we wanted to, and then we ran the long runs together on the weekends. I would encourage anyone and everyone to do this with friends who are at about your same pace. The girls I did it with were a bit faster than me and it turned out to be a fantastic fit. The blog kept us accountable and I found myself pushing to reach a new time even with each short run. As I said, this is totally not me usually but it was fun to find that if you train hard enough you really can get faster. I have always fallen into the rut that "I'm slow. I was born slow and I'll die slow." Which is probably partly true:) because those Powers genes are sure slow and methodical, however thorough we may be:) (I swear I drove the nurses I worked with nuts because I was so slow but, hey, why rush if you're going to just sit around after you're done anyway?) Anyway, although I missed my goal by a bit, I think it's a step in the right direction. I've got somewhere to go from here and I learned a lot about myself training for this race. I improved my time quite a bit AND it was fun!! and I'm going to miss these fabulous running companions and friends!

Emily, Amy, Mindy, Angela, Me, and Holly

This man dressed up like a penny was surprisingly speedy!

Feeling great right at the beginning

I always look like I'm walking in photos but I was running!

I thought this was a pretty funny picture of Amy and Chad.

The supportive hubbies and kids who helped us train

I kept saying "Don't worry. I don't feel a thing." Then I realized I was supporting a lot less of the pyramid than Angela:)

Successful in the end

Such a happy little camper

A serious interchange between Asher, Ruby and Jillian    

p.s. I almost forgot to mention that Springfield, IL is an awesome place. Definitely worth the two hour drive from St. Louis. Going to the Lincoln museum was so inspiring. I feel like such a bum when I  see/hear stories of people who were SO courageous and gave their all for equality. Before visiting the museum I had heard mixed reviews about whether or not President Lincoln was against slavery. I learned that he was and that he was SO brave in his decision, which he made on his own, to make the Emancipation Proclamation. His own life was certainly peppered with sorrow with the loss of his son (he might have lost more than one but I can't remember) and the difficulty his wife had afterwards. Inspiring is the only word I can think of as you walk in the first exhibit that represents his life. There are all these voices shouting why Lincoln is a fool, why he will fail, etc and on and on and on. There were countless political cartoons as well designed to make him look like such a buffoon. He was up against so much and even though he faced so much unpopularity he did so much for the nation and the future of its people, at a very personal expense to himself. As you walk by the representation of his funeral procession there is definitely a sacred feeling, for Lincoln who gave so much, and all the lives lost in the American Civil War.