Fast forward a few years

Jillian is growing up WAY too fast...

A few days ago:

Jillian: Mother, Peter still calls you Momma but not me. I'm not sure why but I like calling you Mother. Yes, I call you Mother now.
Mom: Boohoo


An then this morning:

Jillian: Mother, Peter has his baby, I have my baby and you have your baby.

Mom: I have two babies actually.

Jillian: No, you just have one.

Mom: You and Peter are my babies.

Jillian: No, just Peter is. I don't crawl and I can talk. I'm not a baby.

Well, THAT went by entirely too fast!

Trying my hand...

at photography. my usual suspects, i mean subjects, are getting sick of me so my friend let me take photos of her sweet baby girl. what a doll baby. we had a lot of fun. for all the time it took me, i didn't get too many great ones. man, those professionals are...professional. getting all those great shots in such limited time. anyway, good thing these guys were patient and baby girl was in such a drowsy, sweet and perfect mood. it was a lot of fun, especially since there were no expectations.

this was j's idea to get the shots from above, thru the branches, and i'm so glad she thought of it.
sweet little Christmas gift

at this point the light was fading fast so we had to use a little unnatural light:)

the adoring and beautiful older sister

We awoke the morning of the 20th to a winter wonderland. Church was cancelled and we got to sequester ourselves away in our warmish house all day. Kevin had to work a 24 hour shift, unfortunately, so was up shoveling his car out at 7:00. We were bummed he couldn't take the day off with us but I was glad his being up got me out of bed early. After I saw him off and shoveled a bit more, my good friend Deepa was coming in on the train that night and we needed a clear path so we could get out to pick her up!, I went and grabbed some company, the camera, and enjoyed the world as it lay in solemn stillness. SO peaceful. Not even the song of a bird disturbed the silence for a good bit. I wonder if this is how it felt to Adam and Eve, seeing the world, so undisturbed, just after the creation. I love, love, love to look out on the fresh snow before anyone has walked on it. I love how everything in nature bears testimony of Christ, his life, then death, then Resurrection. And it's so wise of God to have a resting period of nature and to give man the Sabbath on which to rest. I need to be better about resting myself period so I can be whole. Just a random thought. Anyway, I am reminded of a Young Life ski trip I went on with some friends from high school. One night, around ten o'clock they had us bundle up and go sit somewhere outside, alone for a good half hour or so. I think they asked us to think about our relationship with God or who we were or something. The moon was SO bright and I remember it being such a neat experience. You'd think we would have been frozen by the time they called us in after sitting in the snow but we were mesmorized, I suppose, by the nature surrounding us and the chance to think on sacred things in a sacred spot of earth. Anyway, for now, we're enjoying our beautiful snow-covered region of the earth:) And we were glad to have a White Christmas, too!

Just another gorgeous morning in NOVEMBER! We've been spoiled by lots of unseasonably warm weather this fall and enjoyed every minute of it.

Absolute hilarity - closing your eyes for pictures:)

This was not staged and, yes, that's J in the background pouting that P is riding her trike.

This scene made me laugh and laugh. I can't decide who she reminds me of the most. Grandma Jamie? Grandma Zimmerman? Pops? Grandma Powers? Hadley? Whoever it is, it made me realize, we are a family of avid newspaper people. The first year Kevin and I were married I signed up to get the Wall Street Journal, which comes EVERY day and is no wimpy paper. I think I read one article over the months we got it, as I was busy trying to work, finish school and sleep during my first trimester with Jillian. But just out of principle I wouldn't let Kevin throw any of the papers away and I wouldn't let him call and cancel for a long time either, just out of principle. I'll be the first to admit that was somewhat crazy but I'll also be the first to blame it on my genes:)

O Christmas Tree

We got our tree from Home Depot this year. It turned out to be a great tree, although we did miss going to Ted Drewes. It opened up a lot more than we expected and took up lots of room in our family room:) I just LOVE walking into a room, in this case our house because it was right by our front door, and having that glorious smell of a freshly cut evergreen waft through the air!

Playdough Snow Guy

A Choice

I can't remember what exactly lead me to the thought but recently I realized I have to choose to be happy. Whenever I am angry or un-Christlike with something or someone, I choose that, even if it is subconsciously. Up until a few months ago I had been feeling so frustrated with EVERYTHING and suddenly it just hit me. I'm choosing this for myself. This is not the person I want to be and yet here I am. A big grump, having no fun with my wonderful children and husband. I have a friend who has a statement on her blog that says "Moms have more fun. That's the real truth. I have a degree in journalism, experience abroad, but I'm at home loving life with my baby boy...Living is fun and I'm having a ball!" I had chuckled and thought, yeah, it is fun being a mom. And I'm in a similar situation as my friend. I had the chance to do a lot before I was a mom. But that was a bit in theory for me because I wasn't really living like I thought it was more fun.

And I was finding reasons why everyone around me was better than I was. Whether they were more beautiful, intelligent, creative, fun, used their time more wisely, more of a scriptorian...We had a lesson on Sunday about coveting and one of the sister missionaries pointed out how Satan has counterfeits for everything good God has. In this case, Satan has jealousy and the inability to be happy for someone else's accomplishments where God has admiration and emulation and pure joy in others accomplishments. To me, this was profound. God gives us the drive to want more for ourselves so that we work to become better, to improve, to become more like Him. The natural man in me has a tendency to compare but just saying to myself over the last few weeks "I want to be happy for this person" or "their success or relationship or whatever in no way takes away from what I have" has been like a pin I can use to deflate my own insecurities. When I step back and look at the situation, I would so much rather be the person without guile than the person who is envious. Simple, right? :)

Anyway, I've been trying to check myself when I start to feel frustration bottling up inside of me. Am I going to choose to take a few breaths and be happy? Or am I going to choose to be that angry person noone wants to be or be around? I see so many qualities in others that I would love to have but I'm going to choose to emulate those qualities instead of choosing to feel inferior because I'm not there yet. Rereading what I've written this all sounds so trite but just stepping back and asking myself "What am I going to choose? Am I going to choose to be happy?" has made SUCH a difference for me!


The day before we left St. Louis I realized big time "we've had it really good here". A friend offered to watch J at the park while I packed up (btw, she was moving the next day too but was generous enough to watch J since she had movers!) and when I showed up there were about 10 of our close friends there with their kids! Wow, I was overwhelmed all at once by the friendship and love of good friends by which I was surrounded. Kevin and I were so blessed during that time of our lives by wonderful friends. I would say that I especially was blessed to have friends to fill the long hours that Kevin was working hard. It was wonderful to have such a support system. But it has also been wonderful to SLOWLY realize that my life can be richer, if I allow it to be, by having that then and this now. I feel a little bit like Heavenly Father is weening me. Not from friends entirely, of course, but from the PLAY, PLAY, PLAY mentality of college life. Life isn't meant to be all work and no play but it isn't meant to be all play and no work either. (That being said, I still intend to play a lot:)

I'm sure these thoughts were heaven-sent because they have helped me so much. Such simple thoughts but so spot on for me. We just got home from sending my little brother off on his mission. I'm so excited for him and that he gets to focus his whole life right now on the gospel. He's such an awesome guy- a true example of being sincerely happy for the success of others. I look up to him so much. Pictures to come!